I had an epiphany a few months ago. You know, like a real fucking stop you in your tracks epiphany! The whole now or never!
So listen, I've been a big girl my entire life, and I've heard all of the reasons why I shouldn't look the way I do. "You have such a pretty face, if the dress doesn't fit maybe you should think about losing a little weight, I mean I don't think of you as a BIG girl." And one of my favs recently from a family member when I was mulling over the idea of signing up for the AIDS ride to honor my two uncles I lost to the disease and their many friends. "Wow Jessica, what a great opportunity to lose some weight!" You've go to be fucking kidding. But with all of those comments that seem to never end I feel like I've brought some strong style to the table. (Although my Missy Elliot phase was probably not appreciated the way it should have been! And yes there are photos, more on that another time.) No matter my size, I always felt pretty fucking fly and put together!
Years ago, when I couldn't find something in my size I decided I would try my hand at making what I wanted. By hand. Literally, I can't sew. I don't own anything but safety pins, a needle and some thread. I got compliments on most of the things. Mainly mens t shirts that I added Biggie lyrics to, or over sized super flowy shirts and kimonos. Basic things that weren't available to me, and believe me I love a good tee like any other girl!
So back to the epiphany. It begins with t shirts. (there's much more, but we will start there) I want to make t shirts for all the girls (or boys!) out there like me who are fucking frustrated with our options. NO I don't want all t shirts to have a scoop neck, cap sleeves and the Little Mermaid on it. There is always time for Disney (I'm a massive fan), but what the FUCK is up with that!? Who decided that's what chubby girls want? I want t shirts that I believe in! Rad fucking over sized t shirts that speak to my soul.
Yesterday I headed to American Apparel with my hopes and head held so high! My notebook with all of my ideas just waiting to be printed! I was gonna place my first order. (My fav t shirt there is the TriBlend unisex in light and dark grey in 3xl) I sat down with the AA representative and was quickly informed that American Apparel will no longer be carrying size 3xl.
Rep: "There just isn't a market for that size."
Me: ..........wait........WHAT? "But, I'm sitting in front of you, I'm your market."
Rep: "American Apparel just doesn't get orders for that size, they don't sell."
Of course there's a market! It's just flooded with cap sleeves and Cinderella. I wanted to get on the PA system and yell to whoever would listen that I needed t shirts and if they could just hear about my epiphany!!!
So now I am back on the t shirt hunt.
I'm not giving up because we, as plus size, curvy, chubby or whatever word you choose to describe yourself, deserve a rad fucking t shirt just like everybody else.
xx
Jessica
Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided. Mae West
