2015

2015. I can't believe it's over.  It was a big year. 

Left LA for NYC. 

Stopped doing hair. 

Started my plus size company Liebling and Burke. 

Lived with one BFF and her fam. 

Drove across country with another BFF. 

Started a body positive instagram page @ignoretheshould. 

Traveled. 

Rachel and I got engaged. 

I mean so so so much happened in 2015. 

I totally neglected this little blog space of mine. 

With all of the change this year, I have at times felt a bit overwhelmed. Admitting that is pretty tough for me. I definitely am someone who is competitive and a no bullshit kinda attitude when it comes to working for something you want. I don't accept being overwhelmed very well. I get annoyed that I can't handle it all. 

That being said, I am now in NYC, "jobless" and working solely on Liebling and Burke and @ignoretheshould, and picking this blog up by its boot straps. Filling my days with Libeling and Burke and hunting for the new pieces for the shop has been exciting and frustrating. I really want to design, but with my budget thats not an option at this point. Sourcing clothes is something I will always do, but out of 1,000 shirts I may find 1 that I believe is good enough to offer the Liebling and Burke girl. Plus clothing is still really frustrating. I want to have the best pieces to offer girls. 

In Feb Rachel and I are traveling to Palm Springs for our friends wedding. I will get to see my friends who I miss dearly, and spend the weekend in Palm Springs. We will definitely be needing that by Feb since were expecting a massive snow storm to hit NYC tomorrow. 

Now I am off to the thrift store to search for an outfit to wear for the wedding.

xx

Jessica

 Thank the universe for good friends! My bff JESS put this little get away together for us at The Ace in Palm Springs. It really is one of my favorite places to be. We hung out and swam and talked and had cocktails and swam some more. I love spending time with my close friends. I totally realize how lucky I am to have so many amazing women in my life, and I tell them so on a regular basis. I can't wait for our next trip!

 xx

Jessica

STRIPES STRIPES STRIPES

 In my opinion stripes are definitely a neutral, and I seriously can't have enough! After black, stripes are always my go to! You can seriously wear them with anything. I love this shirt because it looks so great with a pair of black skinnies and booties, or as a dress with sneakers!

 CHECK IT OUT HERE // STRIPES

 xx

Jessica

ALL I WANT FOR SUMMER IS DRESSES

 ASOS is seriously killing it in the dress department right now!!! I will take one of each!

CHECK EM OUT // DRESSES

xx

Jessica

MERCADO SAGRADO

Last Sunday my bff, and I spent the day in Malibu hangin at the Mercado Sagrado event. It was such a fun and beautiful day. There were so many fun things for sale, candles, tie dyed onsies, (for adults, yes please!) special oils, prints, blankets, more dresses than I could count, ceramics and so much more. I swear I wanted one of everything we saw. I was super pumped on the idea of having our aura photographs taken, but it was booked all day! Boo. We are def going to the next one because that needs to happen!! We hung on the grass for a while and ate delicious snacks and were inspired by some of the amazing dresses we saw. Baby Hayes also stood all by himself that day! Before we left I finally got the print from Otherwild I've been dying for. All in all it was a great Sunday!

HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT???

 I have worked with many people over the years. Like A LOT of people. Some clients I've known for years and some not that long. From time to time with old and new clients my weight becomes the topic of conversation. This happens not by my choice, as I am always redirecting to them. They are spending their time and money with me for it to be about them.
I have heard more times than I can count, "Oh wow Jessica, you look like you've lost weight!" Now from my family, or a few select friends who don't really get it I guess its easier to understand. And I try to answer as kindly as possible, that no, I have not. Weight loss is a personal journey for people. So don't ask! I eat healthy and try not to drink too much wine. TRY being what I do! But no, I have not shed any LB's.

Coming from clients it is always an odd convo to handle. Honestly I usually lie and thank them for noticing. But what I'm thinking is obviously different. Something along the lines of, "hey, what you just said can fuck right off!!"When did someone else's body become your topic of conversation? Why would you think that saying that to me is a compliment?
When people make comments like this, it feels to me like they are saying they believe there is something wrong with the way I look. They are saying that there is a way for me to be happier, a way for me to be better, because I must have lost a little weight. I'm pretty happy in life with all things! I try to remember that their comments on my weight are more about them than me. I've brought this up to friends before and most are appalled by it. But for the few select friends who just don't

get it, they usually respond with, "well I'm sure they meant it as a compliment!" It's not a compliment. No matter how many times I try to explain it to them, if I didn't bring up my weight, no one else should. 

Weight is often tied to people's happiness but not by their own doing. We've been told our happiness and the way we look are mutually exclusive. It's bizarre when strangers, friends and family believe they are helping a big 'ol chubby girl become just a little happier by giving the verbal motivation we must all be craving. And seriously, its just fucking annoying! There are so many other things we could be talking about! Like Beyonce. As of now, I am working on a witty response to people and there chatty ways. I will post another entry when I've done so!!

xx,

Jessica

Saturday afternoon I had an amazing and long overdue convo with one of my bffs. We talked about our plans for summer, what clothes we are eying at the moment, and everything else in between. Our convo drifted into body positivity and how important it is to get to a place of self love. She recently found a picture of me from summer some years ago. I remember the day well. I wore a dress I had scored at the thrift store and my new Kork Ease wedges. We were laughing because I was in a dress without tights and how ridiculous it was that I never used to show my legs.

 For years I kept my legs hidden. YEARS. But something clicked awhile back when I asked myself why. Really, why? That's so lame, they're just legs. I love walking in whatever city I happen to be living in, I love to dance into the early morning, I love to travel and explore; all things that I am so lucky to be able to do with the help of these legs of mine. But I was ashamed of them. I hid them away. I made fun of them like so many of us girls do to avoid the risk of someone else doing it before me. I was so mean to myself about my legs. I have my mothers legs. She was almost 6 feet tall and a dancer for life, she was never chubby. I hated being 5'6. If only I had gotten a few more inches from her I wouldn't have this squished down version of her legs. All I wanted were long dancer legs. But like I said, that all changed a few years ago, I got over it. I decided that I refused to feel bad about myself because my legs weren't what society had been trying to convince me they should be. These are my legs and they have taken me on wild adventures and places I never could have imagined!

 The journey of self acceptance I imagine will be a lifelong one as we get older and things begin to change, but it gets so much easier when you realize you are the only one who has to accept you.  We are not defined by our bodies and over and over we are told that our bodies equal our worth. What would happen if earlier in life we knew that wasn't true. That just being you and loving yourself not matter what, was enough. If we knew the problem wasn't our bodies, but what we had been told to think about our bodies. Think of how much shame and how many tears could be avoided.
This post is a reminder to myself and to anyone else that style, confidence and happiness are in NO WAY size related, and those legs of yours are just fine!
During our conversation I read her this quote I recently found I decided to post it here too. Its a really good one!

"This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you're too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world." - Oprah Winfrey




This is the pic she sent me, I was so nervous that day showing my legs!