WORDS TO LIVE BY

Confidence is KEY

Every girl has suffered insecurities based on how they feel people in their lives view them. 

We are reminded constantly by the media/society and sometimes even strangers of the things we aren't getting quite right. Especially when it comes to our bodies. The strangers are the ones that always get me. But I guess its a trickle down effect starting with the media. But seriously, why the fuck do strangers think they have the right to comment on the way people look?!

I remember one time in particular when I was out with my friends at a club. We went out onto the patio to take a break from dancing. There was a table full of guys standing next to us who were joking and being funny. So when one of them made a joke about something (I can't remember exactly what it was) I chimed in. I talk to random people all the time, like seriously all the time, so why would this be any different? Well it was. The guys all looked at me and one of them said, "ew, she's fat." That was it, just those three little words. 

Ew. She's. Fat.

I was stunned. Did he really just say that? He looked me up and down with a grossed out look on his face. He seemed shocked, like he couldn't believe that someone like me could dare show up at the club, let alone have the nerve to talk to someone like him. I remember getting teary eyed and telling the guy he didn't have to be a dick and that I was just being friendly.

I showed up at the club that night the way I always did/do. With my make-up, hair and nails done. With an amazing bag, and with my outfit on point and my attitude to match. Its the way I like to present myself. 

I have come to realize that it sometimes scares people if you aren't what society has deemed beautiful but you have confidence in yourself. Because a big girl like me better never feel good about herself, because that would mean that the beauty standards we have been force fed are a big ol' lie. I think this guy imagined I should have been at home on the couch with my bag of Doritos (which sometimes is a fun Sat night too!) and crying about the way I look. It's like when people tell you you look thinner. Um, ok, thanks I guess. I think people say things like that because they're trying to be nice or up lifting or something. Why is it that people are so quick to remind you of how unhappy you should be, because you are a different size from them? You can be happy and confident no matter your size, it is your right! Why the fuck not be?! 

This was not the first time a stranger had commented on the way I look, and I'm sure it won't be the last. Remembering its their issue not yours is the most important thing. Whenever something like that happens in your life you always think, oh shit, I should have said this or that. I would have loved to have asked him when he decided the way I look was bad? Marketing, society, media, has told you so. I'm willing to bet you didn't come to that conclusion on your own. I feel sorry for the people who believe you have to look a certain way to be happy and are offended when you defy that. What a small world they are limiting themselves to. Life's too fucking short for all of that!

Having confidence in yourself and holding onto it can be a struggle, but you deserve to dance the night away and know that you look fucking amazing no matter your size.

 xx

jessica