HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT???

 I have worked with many people over the years. Like A LOT of people. Some clients I've known for years and some not that long. From time to time with old and new clients my weight becomes the topic of conversation. This happens not by my choice, as I am always redirecting to them. They are spending their time and money with me for it to be about them.
I have heard more times than I can count, "Oh wow Jessica, you look like you've lost weight!" Now from my family, or a few select friends who don't really get it I guess its easier to understand. And I try to answer as kindly as possible, that no, I have not. Weight loss is a personal journey for people. So don't ask! I eat healthy and try not to drink too much wine. TRY being what I do! But no, I have not shed any LB's.

Coming from clients it is always an odd convo to handle. Honestly I usually lie and thank them for noticing. But what I'm thinking is obviously different. Something along the lines of, "hey, what you just said can fuck right off!!"When did someone else's body become your topic of conversation? Why would you think that saying that to me is a compliment?
When people make comments like this, it feels to me like they are saying they believe there is something wrong with the way I look. They are saying that there is a way for me to be happier, a way for me to be better, because I must have lost a little weight. I'm pretty happy in life with all things! I try to remember that their comments on my weight are more about them than me. I've brought this up to friends before and most are appalled by it. But for the few select friends who just don't

get it, they usually respond with, "well I'm sure they meant it as a compliment!" It's not a compliment. No matter how many times I try to explain it to them, if I didn't bring up my weight, no one else should. 

Weight is often tied to people's happiness but not by their own doing. We've been told our happiness and the way we look are mutually exclusive. It's bizarre when strangers, friends and family believe they are helping a big 'ol chubby girl become just a little happier by giving the verbal motivation we must all be craving. And seriously, its just fucking annoying! There are so many other things we could be talking about! Like Beyonce. As of now, I am working on a witty response to people and there chatty ways. I will post another entry when I've done so!!

xx,

Jessica

Saturday afternoon I had an amazing and long overdue convo with one of my bffs. We talked about our plans for summer, what clothes we are eying at the moment, and everything else in between. Our convo drifted into body positivity and how important it is to get to a place of self love. She recently found a picture of me from summer some years ago. I remember the day well. I wore a dress I had scored at the thrift store and my new Kork Ease wedges. We were laughing because I was in a dress without tights and how ridiculous it was that I never used to show my legs.

 For years I kept my legs hidden. YEARS. But something clicked awhile back when I asked myself why. Really, why? That's so lame, they're just legs. I love walking in whatever city I happen to be living in, I love to dance into the early morning, I love to travel and explore; all things that I am so lucky to be able to do with the help of these legs of mine. But I was ashamed of them. I hid them away. I made fun of them like so many of us girls do to avoid the risk of someone else doing it before me. I was so mean to myself about my legs. I have my mothers legs. She was almost 6 feet tall and a dancer for life, she was never chubby. I hated being 5'6. If only I had gotten a few more inches from her I wouldn't have this squished down version of her legs. All I wanted were long dancer legs. But like I said, that all changed a few years ago, I got over it. I decided that I refused to feel bad about myself because my legs weren't what society had been trying to convince me they should be. These are my legs and they have taken me on wild adventures and places I never could have imagined!

 The journey of self acceptance I imagine will be a lifelong one as we get older and things begin to change, but it gets so much easier when you realize you are the only one who has to accept you.  We are not defined by our bodies and over and over we are told that our bodies equal our worth. What would happen if earlier in life we knew that wasn't true. That just being you and loving yourself not matter what, was enough. If we knew the problem wasn't our bodies, but what we had been told to think about our bodies. Think of how much shame and how many tears could be avoided.
This post is a reminder to myself and to anyone else that style, confidence and happiness are in NO WAY size related, and those legs of yours are just fine!
During our conversation I read her this quote I recently found I decided to post it here too. Its a really good one!

"This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you're too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world." - Oprah Winfrey




This is the pic she sent me, I was so nervous that day showing my legs!

SCENES OF A SUNDAY

Sunday we decided to have a brunch date and it quickly turned into an entire day date! We brunched and road pedal boats. Then headed to Griffith park to lay in the grass, drink champagne and read. A couple of hours after that we picked up our pups and sat at a bar by our apt. and hung out for the rest of the day. Friends dropped by to say hi and share in a few beers. On the walk home we grabbed our fav dumplings. It was an awesome day filled with adventures and love.

 xx

Jessica

PINK FLAMINGO

 Ok Target, you are kind of forgiven for that played out, seen it before, same old same old Ava + Viv plus size line because of this! Lily Pulitzer plus size flamingo bikini and a palm frond crop top! Thats right, I said plus size!!! Finally one of the visiting Target design houses believes in dressing all women. These are my top favs and if I can only score two please let it be those two! Cant wait until the 19th when the line drops!

 LILY PULITZER FOR TARGET

xx,

Jessica

FLEA MARKET FIND

Flea markets and thrift stores are amazing places to find things when you're plus size. (I've been having really great second hand luck lately!) You don't feel bad cutting, sewing and pinning things when they cost $3! Luckily this poncho came in perfect worn in condition, no alterations necessary! If only it had been $3, but somethings are too good to leave behind. Threw it on over an old black tee, skinnies and fucked up old converse. PS the hat was another flea market score!

 -- DETAILS --

GOYARD ZIPPER POUCH

THIS NECKLACE

photos :  GEMMA LOPEZ

xx,

Jessica

MY SHOP - LIEBLING AND BURKE

 TODAY

 Today I'm sitting at my home away from home, The Line Hotel having coffee, trying so hard not to be overwhelmed. I'm in the beginning phases of opening a plus size shop (online, for now!) and am at the point where I know exactly what I want and want to do. But money. Man why is it always about the money. I like money, I like making it and I like working hard for it. (insert theme song: she works hard for the money! haha) But today my goals seem so far from reach. I have decided to try something I was totally against doing in the beginning. I'm going to launch an Indiegogo. (just like Kickstarter) to raise money for this dream of mine. Next month I film the video and will be going live with my campaign. I have to say I'm super pumped about the chance to spread the word about Liebling and Burke, and more importantly pumped to raise money to be able to bring current, well thought out, plus size clothes to the table.
 I have been so over, for pretty much my whole life, plus size retailers, (except for a few) who just don't get it. And honestly, in my opinion who don't want or even try to get it. Like the "new" line from Target, Ava + Liv, um, no thanks. Just because you got some of my fav plus size ladies in your campaign doesn't mean I can't tell you just slapped a new name on your plus size line. You have all the same lame options you did before. Not impressed. I want to change this. I am the person who gets what we need. What we want. I want to dress girls and make them feel badass because they are. I want to pull people out of "well, its not that cute, but it fits, so I should get it" mentality. I want to offer so much more.
So Indiegogo here I come. I know that no matter what I will find a way to do this. It's my dream and its going to happen.

xx

Jessica